I Am the Job

One of the greatest tugs of war in unwinding your life’s work towards a successful exit is addressing the overflow of emotions. Several of our most successful clients recognized and embraced the tug on their sleeves in coping with so many emotions. The best thing an advisor can do is simply hold space allowing them to feel it all – joy, sadness, anger, frustration, grief and acceptance. You Are Not the Job. Your identity isn’t tied to YourCo., your net worth, the exclusive country clubs, the beach house or THE job.

As certified Executive coaches, we have the responsibility to stand in the gap with our clients regardless where they are on the exit timeline to support them through the emotional challenges of selling their life’s work. John, a second-generation owner, wrestled for several years about selling his father’s business. He finally opened up one evening over dinner that his biggest fear was answering the question after selling his business, “What do you do?”

For some of us that’s a pretty safe question to answer, but when you’ve walked the halls your dad walked for almost 50 years that realization was petrifying. Men are raised and groomed to lead, be strong and never show emotion let alone vulnerability. For some, these real emotions are paralyzing. Here’s a few:

• Emotion of leaving your life’s work threatens an entrepreneur’s identity even questions it
  
  

• Emotion of whether the deal will close or not and the pressure that places on you
  
  

• Emotion of making a mistake that potentially costs you millions of dollars

There’s a litany of ancillary emotions rushing in and out of your mind daily and nightly – freedom, the time to do anything you want, the lack of daily structure, the lack of interaction with people, no more problems to solve, no more customers to keep happy – hundreds of touch points gone. In our culture, your identity is inextricably tied to your job or career as a defining characteristic. You’re known as the lawyer, accountant, doctor or founder, and these identifiers link your social status and allude to how much money you make. The ego can be very fragile or very dangerous at this time.

You’re deep into the process. You have to rely on others, because you’ve never been through anything like this before. There’s a high level of frustration. There are the intense first-time pressures. There’s the never-ending proctology exam called due diligence that grates on every nerve for months. Mistakes or at least the fear of mistakes are emotionally and mentally painful let alone costly.

It’s a limited window with many repetitive conversations and tasks leading up to the transaction. We ensure your clarity of thought, the top-of-mind awareness of where you are today, and where you know you must go. You have a compelling story and the waves of emotions you’re experiencing are real and embracing them is unsettling at best.

What’s the best way to address and work through the emotional rollercoaster?

 

It sure as hell ain’t as simple as ‘Let it Go’ (you know the song your granddaughter loves hearing from Frozen). It also isn’t as simple as stepping into the next life stage redefining your purpose with excitement and direction. Those two are your boundaries, however. The messy middle is where, together along with your support system, we’ll stand in the gap with you. At JSP, we don’t ride off into the sunset with you shouting, “Shane, come back.” We’re with you beyond the wire.

• Recognize the Emotions. Be okay with what you may think is less than okay. Avoid smothering your feelings as they lead to more stress, regret and the rollercoaster (see above). One of our focuses for you is work through your ‘why’ you’re selling now, how the sale benefits you, your family and your employees and what the sale means to everyone. We gotta stay grounded and grateful.
  
  
• Embrace the Moment. Make time to reflect on your journey and achievements. I like to write in a journal and that helped me capture the good and ugly moments about my own journey. One of our client’s shared memories with his team even hosting a dinner each quarter for his former employees, friends and customers. Celebrating your success can provide closure.
  
  
• Ride Together. You don’t need to go through the transition alone. We’re going to connect you with mentors, consider having you being a mentor, connect with fellow exited entrepreneurs. Consider what activities or passions you’d like to address. Sharing your feelings where appropriate will lessen the burden and offer a fresh perspective.